When a woman’s husband dies, people are happy to listen to her stories about the past, how great he was and how much she misses him. They might even tell you how lucky you were and they never put a time limit on how long you can talk about him.
But when your husband leaves you and wants a divorce, nobody wants to hear you say anything about him, especially not anything good. They want you to pretend that every single memory and experience with that person is now bad because of one bad choice he has made.
That is so unfair to the woman. Her good memories are all she has and they were good! She needs to grieve. Divorce is a death of a marriage, of a future and requires grieving the same as if he had died. They want to disparage him at every opportunity and make you feel terrible if you still love him, want him back, or even continue to communicate with him.
But here is the thing, it is different for everyone. And the only thing that matters is what is best for you. Everyone has an opinion, even good intentions, but only you can decide what you want to do. And whatever that is, it is okay. Everybody’s marriage is different, and so is everybody’s divorce.
Love is not a switch you can just turn off. At least, not if it was true love.